First up, the cover story of today's paper:
Apparently Harry the Croc is psychic and has picked Gillard as the winner of Monday's leadership ballot in the ALP. This is the front goddamn page of the only paper produced in the NT. This is what counts as news of national importance here.
Local politics is even worse:
The mayor of Palmerston has been stood down and placed on the banned drinkers list because he threatened his neighbours with some golf clubs because their dogs were too loud. The banned drinkers list is a small exclusive list of a few hundred people who are not allowed to drink, this existence of which means everyone has to hand over their licence to be scanned every time they buy take-away.
The deputy who should replace him is now being investigated by police because there is a report that he was seen nude inside his house. What precise law there is against being nude in your own house I'm not sure of, but I rarely claim to be a lawyer.
Maybe there will be a new law and order campaign based on this new interpretation of what one can and can't do in their own home. The slogans for such a campaign write themselves. "Are you now or have you ever been nude?" "If you see something, say something." "Be someone! Report domestic nudity today!"
I mean I know that there is a lot of nudity in the NT. The build-up is noted for such behaviour. Some places wait for the first sparrow of Summer. Canberra waits for the first magpie attack of Spring. We wait for the first nude drink-driving arrest of the Build-Up. This year, it was a couple. Romantic, I guess.
But if you think this is just the result of the NT News (a News Ltd. rag designed to drive out the local union-run paper of substance that preceded it), THINK AGAIN! Look at this from the ABfrickenC:
Dr David Bowman, a professor of environmental change biology at UTAS has suggested that we introduce elephants to Central Australia to help fight bushfires. I mean, introducing invasive species to Australia has always gone so well, don't you think?
Good grief can you imagine if elephants reach cane toad plague proportions? Apparently, they can also have a bit of a problem with grog, destroying African villages to get to stills. I'd like to see the the banned drinkers register work there.
"I'm sorry, Babar, I can't serve you."
"BABAR SMASH!"
That the above image was the second image that came up in a "BABAR SMASH" Google search restores my faith in humanity somewhat. It's from http://zoofights.squarespace.com/zoofights-vi/2011/7/27/double-eelix-vs-kali-babar.html. In no way will I vouch for it or its SafeForWork status.
Maybe this is just a response to the "anything goes" planning department here in the NT. UTAS Prof looked at the massive development plans for Northern Australia and just said: "Fuck it! Introduce elephants! Mad Max-style anarchy can't come soon enough for these Territorian nutbags." Or maybe Tasmanians are just crazy.
Anyway, I'm off to get three forms of ID and a note from my doctor so I can have a drink.
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